Will I ever be a mom?

I'm reminded of a time in my life when I was in my late 20's and single.  I was feeling lonely, sad and started to think I would never find someone. Never find a person I could make a life with. Although I was in a serious long-term relationship Young from 17 -22, by the time I was 28 I was starting to feel like maybe there wasn't anyone else out there for me.  In a period of 7 years I never had anything serious, it always didn't work out for some reason or another (me or them usually a combination of both.) 

I realized I wasn't very good at being single, or dating and somewhere along the way I had lost my self esteem and was kind of desperate.  I wanted to find someone to build a life with only the problem was I was driving them away in droves by coming off as desperate and needy (low self-esteem is not attractive.) Even though I had a lot going for me I couldn't value myself.  So one day I started crying for no reason in public places and figured it was time to get help.  I went to a therapist for about 9 months and he really helped me turn around.  He helped me see the value in myself that I lost somewhere in my 20s. 

Somewhere around that time when I felt like I had given up on finding someone, I unexpectedly met my husband.  We instantly came together and even though our situation seemed impossible, we made it work. I remember thinking that at any moment it was going to fall apart for about the first year.  Yet it didn't. We seemed more determined than ever to be together.  It seemd like my waiting was finally over and a happy ending was in sight.

But life doesn't end when you get married like in the movies.  Oh look they got married how great now they get to live together for the rest of their lives and it's all peachy.  It seems that about March when I told my husband I wanted to start planning a baby, he unleashed his true feelings: he doesn't know if he wants kids ever.

It's been a rough road ever since, sometimes we have periods of time where everything is good if we don't talk about the baby issue, but as soon as it comes back up (because these things don't just dissapear) we are back to crying and talking in circles.  Sometimes I wonder if I just could forsee the future if it would be so hard.  For example when I was 28 and sad thinking I would never find someone, if I could have seen that at 30 I would have been getting married would that have snapped me out of it? Allowed me to just enjoy my life knowing that it was coming?  If I could see the future now and see myself having a baby at whatever age would that help the crying bouts and deep sadness I feel inside? I really don't know.  And at this point I really don't know if I will ever be a mom.